hnz

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/22/2016 at 1:03am)

hnz

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3031
  • Number of comments : 290
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hnz : everybody has their own fml!

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
~Robert Frost

Kite Flying can be self satisfaction

for anything, contact me at zarinna_1989@hotmail.com

BYE

hnz's page activity

Visits<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:13am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 8:59am<b>Poyzin7323</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 6:54pm<b>TheFeels</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 10:33pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 4:59pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 11:00pm<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 9:53am<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 9:08am<b>Rais</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 6:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:31pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 4:50pm<b>cetharel</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:13am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 4:14pm<b>Xtraxt</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:10pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:33am<b>rafa015</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:50pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:07am<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:37pm

Fucked!<b>Rais</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 12:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:31pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 11:50pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:07am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:45am<b>davered89</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:15am<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 3:17am<b>TaylorG147</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:48pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:56am<b>nicoleblair</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:42pm

hnz's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of hnz's badges

hnz's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy