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hitmanoo's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
hitmanoo's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML
by Festivaler / 07/13/2013 at 3:14am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous
by phatdaddy62 / 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
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