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hitmanoo

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hitmanoo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 391
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hitmanoo's page activity

Visits<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:42am<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:47pm<b>October3461</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:02am<b>lovecottoncandy</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 7:15pm<b>baby4mommy</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 3:37am<b>HEATfan6531</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:03am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:44pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:37pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 10:38pm<b>kak_999999999</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:50am<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:56pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:54pm<b>guitarman1400</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:54am<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:40pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 1:51pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 12:50am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 12:18am

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hitmanoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46202) - you deserved it (4374)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

#20779336
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47902) - you deserved it (3968)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (37812)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (4364)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11942) - you deserved it (55883)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70468) - you deserved it (15303)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11532) - you deserved it (36710)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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