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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hitmanoo's page activity

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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hitmanoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47300) - you deserved it (4463)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48211) - you deserved it (3997)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16421) - you deserved it (38692)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (4388)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12621) - you deserved it (57615)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73971) - you deserved it (16057)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML


I agree, your life sucks (13100) - you deserved it (39032)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

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