heyitsvanessaa

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heyitsvanessaa

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1854
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About heyitsvanessaa : People on here are wayy to serious. It's an app guys.. Anyways, message me if you wanna know about me(:

heyitsvanessaa's page activity

Visits<b>DatBacon28</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 12:03pm<b>lucasdvb</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:49am<b>chichi007</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:55pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 4:34pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:24pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:21am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:15am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:22am<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 8:43pm<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:18pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 12:01am<b>jenmemo</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:08pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:46pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:08pm<b>streetjk</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Ravenz</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:23pm

heyitsvanessaa's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of heyitsvanessaa's badges

heyitsvanessaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

by anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 10:52am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

by buxton1 / 02/18/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

by fviz / 02/07/2013 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:12am / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals