Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

heyitsvanessaa

Search for a member

heyitsvanessaa
  • Town/Country : New York
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 201
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About heyitsvanessaa : People on here are wayy to serious. It's an app guys.. Anyways, message me if you wanna know about me(:

heyitsvanessaa's last visitors

MisterCrossthebestintheworlMister_GrimmGenius_KittyCovenant74mickaela_rapsac200NewYorkMexPRmichaelf461LukeE45

heyitsvanessaa's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of heyitsvanessaa's badges

heyitsvanessaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (1551)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (2092)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (7833)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (1733)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (6233)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (4247)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (1506)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (27615)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (4301)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by