About heyitslivi : I'm a swimmer! Eat. Sleep. Swim.
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heyitslivi's favorite FMLs
Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML
by bestiality? do I look like a pig? / 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Uncomfortable / 05/17/2013 at 3:21am / Intimacy
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach… Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in… Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member…
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…