heyitsjeremy

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heyitsjeremy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 189
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About heyitsjeremy : Eggs bro:)

heyitsjeremy's page activity

Visits<b>erpaderp</b> - the 09/17/2011 at 6:26pm

heyitsjeremy's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of heyitsjeremy's badges

heyitsjeremy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

by Forever Alone x2 / 01/07/2012 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

by bethanygirl / 10/29/2011 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

by panos016 / 07/15/2011 at 9:51am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

by steph2052 / 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I decided I was done waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, so we were cuddling in his bed and I asked him. He asked for a rain check. FML

by brokenbabe / 06/21/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

by Mik / 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

by thesadone / 07/03/2010 at 2:49am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

by Noname / 03/18/2009 at 11:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML

by nochance / 03/05/2009 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals