About heyitsjeremy : Eggs bro:)
About heyitsjeremy : Eggs bro:)
heyitsjeremy's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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heyitsjeremy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Forever Alone x2 / 01/07/2012 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by bethanygirl / 10/29/2011 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by panos016 / 07/15/2011 at 9:51am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML
by steph2052 / 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by brokenbabe / 06/21/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML
by Mik / 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by thesadone / 07/03/2010 at 2:49am / United States (California) / Geek
by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML
by Noname / 03/18/2009 at 11:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML
by nochance / 03/05/2009 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
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