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Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (5949)
On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (7763)
On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (1946)
On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (2142)
On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14038) - you deserved it (29683)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (10829)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15401) - you deserved it (1550)
On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10321) - you deserved it (16450)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16361) - you deserved it (10011)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you deserved it (2773)
On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (10891)
On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7113) - you deserved it (50900)
On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (3297)
On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21852) - you deserved it (3374)
On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4875) - you deserved it (35267)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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