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heyhihello95

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heyhihello95
  • Town/Country : Ellesméra, Alagaësia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 553
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About heyhihello95 : Just your typical broke college kid.

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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heyhihello95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (11923)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36845) - you deserved it (6022)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47607) - you deserved it (8742)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

#19997949
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

#19908748
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24094) - you deserved it (14966)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15910) - you deserved it (1574)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12996) - you deserved it (23311)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

#19276070
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (13677)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

#19275863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (3597)

On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (11034)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

#18767011
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7670) - you deserved it (53917)

On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30155) - you deserved it (3612)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (3406)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (45222)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States



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