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hetaloid

Offline (the 12/09/2014 at 11:09am) | Search for a member

hetaloid

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  • Number of visits : 159
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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hetaloid's page activity

Visits<b>journeytotheend</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 8:10pm

hetaloid's FML badges

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hetaloid's favorite FMLs

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

#21038371
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42515) - you deserved it (3544)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Profucktardor (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84976) - you deserved it (8101)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (31343)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (8419)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (7990)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (3359)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37235) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10339) - you deserved it (38315)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30781) - you deserved it (4372)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (21422)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16188) - you deserved it (56103)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

#4028
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (14355)

On 01/31/2009 at 8:51am - misc - by ayw329 - United States (Illinois)

Today, me and my sister hear a buzzing noise in our parent's bedroom. We go to investigate. It's coming from a drawer. We open it up. Battery operated dildo. FML

#770
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32147) - you deserved it (4622)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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