Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

herpderpherpderp

Search for a member

herpderpherpderp
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About herpderpherpderp : why did you click this?
✌✌
:{${${$} MUSTACHE CASH STASH
welcome stalker.

herpderpherpderp's last visitors

swick25king_of_LAaa1717Hai_Its_MarisamollyjynxjaxSecret_NinjaaRababcoeuphoriagorillaz

herpderpherpderp's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of herpderpherpderp's badges

herpderpherpderp's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (26467)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (4730)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22419) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16863) - you deserved it (41830)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (1446)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6911) - you deserved it (31043)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21623) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18713) - you deserved it (9369)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17532) - you deserved it (1615)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (1614)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

#20133994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6602) - you deserved it (28139)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (1734)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (2037)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: