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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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hellosies

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hellosies
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3649
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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hellosies's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (2503)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49766) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (4980) - you deserved it (43784)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (33649)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17486) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and legitimately broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

#6280011 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (1226)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:43pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML

#6278567 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (4086) - you deserved it (31815)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (1925)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (5570) - you deserved it (38306)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (2521)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (4661)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (60679) - you deserved it (3856)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (96383) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (1828)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)