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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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hellomeli712

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hellomeli712
  • Town/Country : New York City, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 July 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About hellomeli712 : I'm Melissa.
I love music, South Park and Harry Potter.
I hate a lot of people.
Single: Yes.


Bands:
The Beatles, Blaqk Audio, Black Veil Brides, Blink-182, Boy Talks Trash, Bring Me the Horizon, Chiodos, The Devil Wears Prada, Evanescence, Eyes Set To Kill, Foxboro Hottubs, Green Day, Jeffree Star, Lady Gaga, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco (only A Fever You Can't Sweat Out), Pierce The Veil, Tokio Hotel, The Used, random 80s music, and a ton of other bands but that's what I listen to the most.

hellomeli712's last visitors

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hellomeli712's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hellomeli712's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (17556) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (1806)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (5843) - you deserved it (13572)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

#5565061 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (10002) - you deserved it (23166)

On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting my boss' kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

#5564554 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (8957) - you deserved it (24920)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (12730)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (51447) - you deserved it (2484)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (51537) - you deserved it (1673)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (14358) - you deserved it (39324)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167979) - you deserved it (51067)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249141) - you deserved it (34309)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141733) - you deserved it (53043)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419967) - you deserved it (30696)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

#8 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (170560) - you deserved it (14292)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi-online -