helloimnutt

Search for a member

Offline (the 10/31/2015 at 7:35pm)

helloimnutt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1100
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About helloimnutt : I read FML daily, just for a laugh. I'm on the app most of the time, but you can still message me if you like! :)

Loyal Liverpool fan since I was 3. YNWA

helloimnutt's page activity

Visits<b>SuperDani</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:24am<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:13am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:34pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:19pm<b>ArcticHumboldt</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:17am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:38am<b>mets300</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:47am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 12:22am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:40am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 3:29am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:30pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 12:28pm

helloimnutt's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of helloimnutt's badges

helloimnutt's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

by PerpetuallyHappy / 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

by malloreigh / 02/28/2012 at 12:19am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

by Vince / 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

by patrickalamo / 06/14/2011 at 10:23am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

by Scarlett / 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek