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helloimnutt

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helloimnutt
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 251
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About helloimnutt : I read FML daily, just for a laugh. I'm on the app most of the time, but you can still message me if you like! :)

Loyal Liverpool fan since I was 3. YNWA

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helloimnutt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (3638)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30122) - you deserved it (2677)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (7515)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58165) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you deserved it (34065)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (5388)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

#15352953
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23739) - you deserved it (6139)

On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (24427)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10611) - you deserved it (105626)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33105) - you deserved it (3670)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML

#5903706
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10574) - you deserved it (29180)

On 10/19/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by LAXsucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

#5529858
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34971) - you deserved it (7724)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13787) - you deserved it (32446)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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