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helloimnutt

Offline (the 11/15/2014 at 8:21pm) | Search for a member

helloimnutt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 452
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About helloimnutt : I read FML daily, just for a laugh. I'm on the app most of the time, but you can still message me if you like! :)

Loyal Liverpool fan since I was 3. YNWA

helloimnutt's page activity

Visits<b>SuperDani</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:24am<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:13am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:34pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:19pm<b>ArcticHumboldt</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:17am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:38am<b>mets300</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:47am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 12:22am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:40am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 3:29am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:30pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 12:28pm

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helloimnutt's favorite FMLs

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (1481)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (4997)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5412) - you deserved it (47589)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (54618) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14532) - you deserved it (34461)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (2921)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31850) - you deserved it (2813)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40575) - you deserved it (5230)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (7893)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61248) - you deserved it (7521)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (35769)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you deserved it (5615)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (31509)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

#15352953
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26008) - you deserved it (6428)

On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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