About helloimnutt : I read FML daily, just for a laugh. I'm on the app most of the time, but you can still message me if you like! :)
Loyal Liverpool fan since I was 3. YNWA
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11092) - you deserved it (24456)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (2484)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (2785)
On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (2004)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (5908)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52011) - you deserved it (5655)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11192) - you deserved it (25901)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37601) - you deserved it (4306)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (5093)
On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (18162)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (2897)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9518) - you deserved it (23280)
On 10/19/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by LAXsucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11973) - you deserved it (25556)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9587) - you deserved it (40122)
On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Monday 20 May 2013
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