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helen29

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helen29

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  • Number of visits : 1391
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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helen29's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

#6388093
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39860) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7679) - you deserved it (20210)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42446) - you deserved it (2456)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

#5931045
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (3651)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Busted (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

#5669917
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41107) - you deserved it (2843)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

#5562367
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48254) - you deserved it (10014)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

#5321781
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85225) - you deserved it (4216)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:36pm - intimacy - by Jackie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML

#5141524
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (51403)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (44022)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML

#4590136
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52911) - you deserved it (4921)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (48484)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (41233)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

#3925036
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62323) - you deserved it (11491)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28109) - you deserved it (60807)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)



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