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helen29

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helen29
  • Town/Country : united states, california
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1052
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

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helen29's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17790) - you deserved it (9803)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (5776)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (26294)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (44137)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47984) - you deserved it (3649)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

#14136075
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28684) - you deserved it (1960)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (3671)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

#8293432
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11607) - you deserved it (26951)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:29am - work - by Dumbdumb (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML

#8099753
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27315) - you deserved it (7194)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33436) - you deserved it (4385)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5371) - you deserved it (76993)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (5583)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

#6884813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7580) - you deserved it (39680)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6578) - you deserved it (31479)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received the sweetest love letter from my boyfriend after having a bad day. After gushing about it and reading it to my friends, they said it reminded them of a letter that they'd seen online. He got it from a fill-in-the-blank love letter generator. FML

#6474495
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (4690)

On 11/27/2009 at 3:09am - love - by Duped (woman) - United States (California)



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