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helen29

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helen29

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  • Number of visits : 1245
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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helen29's page activity

Visits<b>CryosFear</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:11pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 11:26am<b>pkfire0</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 7:03pm<b>mantilla</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 6:24pm

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helen29's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13656) - you deserved it (47874)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

#16657137
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12186) - you deserved it (31609)

On 06/14/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (16309)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43320) - you deserved it (4578)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76814) - you deserved it (23577)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36029) - you deserved it (12776)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

#16150933
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (2475)

On 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Eric -

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

#16076552
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (10996)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by lawl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

#16030983
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37799) - you deserved it (4112)

On 05/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Diesel (man) - Belgium (Luxembourg)

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

#16030351
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18627) - you deserved it (27716)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:15am - love - by cbolig -

Today, my psycho stepmother and I got into an argument, and she started to get physical. After calling the police, and a cop showing up at the door, he took her side because she said it was "discipline". I'm a 29 year old man. FML

#16029650
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (4693)

On 05/03/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32554) - you deserved it (22901)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (13023)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43616) - you deserved it (3677)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

#15673265
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (2574)

On 04/06/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by thatstinks - Iceland



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