helen29

Search for a member

helen29

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2068
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

helen29's page activity

Visits<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:35pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:43pm<b>CryosFear</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:11pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 11:26am<b>pkfire0</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 7:03pm<b>mantilla</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 6:24pm

helen29's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of helen29's badges

helen29's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

by facepalm / 06/14/2011 at 4:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

by peaaaak / 06/03/2011 at 6:17am / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

by Eric / 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm / Health

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

by lawl / 05/07/2011 at 9:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation

Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML

by cbolig / 05/03/2011 at 8:15am / Love

Today, my psycho stepmother and I got into an argument, and she started to get physical. After calling the police, and a cop showing up at the door, he took her side because she said it was "discipline". I'm a 29 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2011 at 4:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

by thatstinks / 04/06/2011 at 11:12pm / Iceland / Miscellaneous