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heingmat

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heingmat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 242
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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heingmat's favorite FMLs

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56036) - you deserved it (5631)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50223) - you deserved it (5227)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66767) - you deserved it (4062)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
165 comments

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (3577)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (2575)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (74598)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41108) - you deserved it (11030)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55720) - you deserved it (23215)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61382) - you deserved it (6106)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72955) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39865) - you deserved it (25087)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46107) - you deserved it (3231)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (6007)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (1891)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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