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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54834) - you deserved it (6725)
On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26373) - you deserved it (18146)
On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (2506)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53474) - you deserved it (2581)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (1674)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65122) - you deserved it (4254)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (71408)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (284904) - you deserved it (28918)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (1900)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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