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This member hasn't filled in the description.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (10088)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (1744)
On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12246) - you deserved it (21141)
On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31456) - you deserved it (5206)
On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (8847)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -
Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (17237)
On 05/02/2011 at 5:30pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27637) - you deserved it (23810)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (35571)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (4114)
On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52926) - you deserved it (6507)
On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (17108)
On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (2270)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (2137)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (1496)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (233313) - you deserved it (20085)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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