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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19443
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heatherjay's page activity

Visits<b>tacobutt</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 7:41am<b>TheRealReapz</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Satchel1975</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:55pm<b>loser4lyf</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 6:48am<b>Sirpence</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 12:05am<b>Thespade</b> - the 09/12/2009 at 3:30pm<b>metalxhead666</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 10:17pm<b>soccerchik</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 6:35pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 5:10pm<b>myLifeIsSoBoring</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 12:36pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 8:23pm<b>chubs</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 10:36pm<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 5:06pm<b>123el</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 2:36pm<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm<b>jngo6821</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 4:34pm<b>zsorini2014</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 9:48am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:43pm

heatherjay's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

heatherjay's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

by Foxy / 02/05/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy