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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53205) - you deserved it (417605)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188586) - you deserved it (21064)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (49984)
On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44605) - you deserved it (31354)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58312) - you deserved it (40946)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whatdoyoudo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460175) - you deserved it (571761)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102558) - you deserved it (17438)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55919) - you deserved it (19870)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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