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heather_marie

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heather_marie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 July 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1717
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heather_marie's page activity

Visits<b>username666</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 11:17am<b>not_ur_mexican</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 4:02pm<b>Jordn</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 11:00pm<b>ZeShadow</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 3:25pm<b>Sacho</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 9:11pm<b>Funnybunny</b> - the 04/10/2009 at 8:06am<b>mf</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 4:06am<b>hallucinog3n</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 7:29am<b>wibi</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 6:26am

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heather_marie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

#1383069
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69351) - you deserved it (14999)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (83650)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71015) - you deserved it (18395)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (110073)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78845) - you deserved it (162803)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243418) - you deserved it (32119)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
875 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58671) - you deserved it (624042)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (108601)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (475673) - you deserved it (45855)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
996 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70902) - you deserved it (736604)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65992) - you deserved it (5131)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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