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Heather_marie's FML badges
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    19%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    6%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    99%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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Heather_marie's favorite FMLs

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

By stillsingleladies - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 15:27 / United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

By tgstreaks - / Thursday 23 April 2009 05:44 / United States

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

By BerryRockstar - / Tuesday 21 April 2009 17:37 / United States

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 4 April 2009 04:34 / United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 2 April 2009 05:13 / United States