hcocaliboy06

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hcocaliboy06

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 923
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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hcocaliboy06's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of hcocaliboy06's badges

hcocaliboy06's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

by katerina / 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

by AshleyRose24 / 11/23/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

by CODgirl102 / 11/16/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy