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hastyheat

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hastyheat

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  • Number of visits : 205
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hastyheat's page activity

Visits<b>fuckyourlifeOP</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 4:06am<b>Bostern</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 4:01pm

hastyheat's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of hastyheat's badges

hastyheat's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51938) - you deserved it (4722)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47951) - you deserved it (8244)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44031) - you deserved it (19911)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66742) - you deserved it (5558)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43121) - you deserved it (4689)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56624) - you deserved it (3892)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79635) - you deserved it (8235)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

#20526851
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9935) - you deserved it (46006)

On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (3931)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18594) - you deserved it (4609)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46452) - you deserved it (7042) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49979) - you deserved it (4718)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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