Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hassi158

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

hassi158

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9642
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hassi158's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of hassi158's badges

hassi158's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (50437)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42967) - you deserved it (6739)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35706) - you deserved it (16261)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

#21229931
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35450) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML

#21229781
70 comments

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39502) - you deserved it (3080)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40843) - you deserved it (3509)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46377) - you deserved it (3678)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (7841)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted an ad online for house cleaning services. So far, all fifteen responses have been solicitations for sex. FML

#21229459
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (3602)

On 08/04/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by notthenaughtymaid (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37326) - you deserved it (3797)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML

#21229187
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (5923)

On 08/04/2014 at 9:20am - love - by mother to be - United States

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41988) - you deserved it (4173)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34979) - you deserved it (2496)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: