This member hasn't filled in the description.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37078) - you deserved it (2444)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57482) - you deserved it (3530)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (3268)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (17710)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (2243)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (5555)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41182) - you deserved it (7962)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (4133)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42321) - you deserved it (3845)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15024) - you deserved it (57338)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (15962)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (3114)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (11370)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States
Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50762) - you deserved it (7291)
On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States
Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (2984)
On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
