Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hassi158

Offline (the 07/04/2014 at 12:49am) | Search for a member

hassi158

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8966
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hassi158's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of hassi158's badges

hassi158's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (37126)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (23657)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33996) - you deserved it (16358)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39256) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45492) - you deserved it (3744)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43248) - you deserved it (4373)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53094) - you deserved it (4375)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

#21207963
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (6082)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (5771)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52454) - you deserved it (6775)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (13484)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43050) - you deserved it (14936)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41886) - you deserved it (6966)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51813) - you deserved it (10472)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I got stood up on a date for three hours. I would have left much earlier but the whole time she had reassured me that she was on her way. And then I saw her tweeting about the pizza rolls she was making at home. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: