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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (3093)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19022) - you deserved it (4411)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (1909)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (10433)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (4304)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (38341)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8089) - you deserved it (21622)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (10906)
On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33726) - you deserved it (6001)
On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)
Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (2225)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (1841)
On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (1735)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13978) - you deserved it (20611)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (2394)
On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (2319)
On 02/21/2012 at 1:45pm - love - by GeeTwo - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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