Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

harrypotter955

Online | Search for a member

harrypotter955

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3212
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

harrypotter955's page activity

Visits<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - 13 hours ago<b>lisaint</b> - 18 hours ago<b>DubiousDude69</b> - 21 hours ago<b>willrich7</b> - 21 hours ago<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - 22 hours ago<b>taybear0</b> - 22 hours ago<b>qdawg06</b> - 22 hours ago<b>wassuploves</b> - 24 hours ago<b>botanistjessica</b> - 24 hours ago<b>KodiG</b> - 24 hours ago<b>ilovefood17</b> - 24 hours ago<b>zBerryz</b> - 24 hours ago<b>cherrio27</b> - yesterday at 9:29pm<b>Tbear11</b> - yesterday at 7:44pm<b>thatstupidchick</b> - yesterday at 7:25pm<b>Tyler1299</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:47pm<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:26pm<b>KittyBunny</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:48pm

Liked!<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - 7 hours ago<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - 16 hours ago

harrypotter955's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19338) - you deserved it (2470)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (3825)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (3643)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (3619)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (3072)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (6131)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17370) - you deserved it (29739)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10934) - you deserved it (27064)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44468) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44468) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

#19528720
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19346) - you deserved it (2212)

On 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by horselover7766 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38245) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (2656)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47264) - you deserved it (5193)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19179) - you deserved it (36724)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: