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harrypotter955

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harrypotter955
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1995
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

#19887405
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10315) - you deserved it (32057)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6976) - you deserved it (36938)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6976) - you deserved it (36938)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (1539)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16173) - you deserved it (1906)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (3845)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3666)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44160) - you deserved it (2347)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (2541)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (2608)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9498) - you deserved it (27877)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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