Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

harrypotter955

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

harrypotter955

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5019
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

harrypotter955's page activity

Visits<b>RebornUnicorn</b> - 19 hours ago<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:14pm<b>NephilimPie</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:16am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:06pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 11:33pm<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 7:17pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:26pm<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:57pm<b>AshOfPalletTown</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:21am<b>jacksontb</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:48pm<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:56pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:38pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:46pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:06pm<b>jdsjds</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:43pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:52pm

Liked!<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:44am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:46am<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:12pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:37am

harrypotter955's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59659) - you deserved it (3065)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8676) - you deserved it (30298)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49659) - you deserved it (3586)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32274) - you deserved it (2697)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16868) - you deserved it (34788)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

#20018594
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (1801)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:20am - love - by millie219 (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (5743)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (1712)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (5731)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39865) - you deserved it (1851)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (3751)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (3590)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

#19887405
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11579) - you deserved it (34597)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: