harrypotter955

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Offline (the 11/04/2015 at 5:02am)

harrypotter955

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7233
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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harrypotter955's page activity

Visits<b>jdscott28</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 2:26am<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:37pm<b>Raekwon</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:10pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 7:10pm<b>AC98</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Koizumiii</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:59pm<b>MuslimShady</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:29am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:58pm<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:11pm<b>cwenboo</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:45am<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:47pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:31pm<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 10:22pm<b>imhisgummybear</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:59pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:19pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:02pm

Fucked!<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:22am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:17am<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:44am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:46am<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:12pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:37am

harrypotter955's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML

by Jaxter / 03/18/2009 at 1:41am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

by imfullthanks / 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm / Norway (Oslo) / Health

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

by bottlepoppin / 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

by catfish / 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

by nana. / 02/15/2009 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

by phobopohobia / 02/06/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

by Noname / 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Love