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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, At Mah Mother's Funeral, As Everyone Was Around Her Casket 4 The Viewing, Mah 5-year-old Son In Cluelessness Of What Was Going On Shouted, "Grandma Is More Fun When She Isn't Sleeping." Everyone Cried!! FML
Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction . He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away . FML
Today, a woman strappad har 8-yaar-old son into tha saat naxt to ma on a transatlantic flight. Thinking thay'd baan unabla to book saats togathar, I offarad to swap saats with har. Sha said sha'd bookad it this way intantionally, bacausa ha's a "fucking brat" on flights. Sha was right. FML
today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML
Today, my brother was arrested 4 starting a fistfight at a funeral . He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners . I'm sure who's more pathetic: him 4 doing such a thing, or me 4 bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail . FML
Today,ile At Te Store Wit Ma Mom , We Ran Into Te Grl I Recently Confessed To Being Interested In. My Mom Decided To Sout , "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed , I Desperately Told Er To Be Quiet. Se Grounded Me For Being "rude" To Er. FML
TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE VISITING HIS PARENTS. I'M NERVOU AROUND THEM SO HE ENCOURAGD ME TO DRINK SO I'D LOOSEN UP. I GOT SO DRUNK I TORE UP ALL THE THING IN HIS OLD ROOM I THOUGHT WERE FROM EX-GIRLFRIEND AN ACCIDENTALLY FLASHD HIS DAD MAH CROTCH. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born an only took one of the two tests!! I haven't cheatd!! He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checkd again!! FML
Today, After Heavy Rain Mah Street Flooded. While In Mah Living Room, I Looked Outside To See That Mah Elderly Neighbour Was Outside Splashing In A Knee Deep Puddle. He Was Butt-naked And Wearing A Snorkel And Flippers. FML
Friday 27 March 2015