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harrypotter955's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
harrypotter955's favorite FMLs
by mortified / 01/22/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
by BiteMe14 / 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 1:50am / Singapore / Kids
Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML
by brandiboobarry / 11/29/2010 at 1:01am / Miscellaneous
by nicolette5785452 / 11/16/2010 at 10:34am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by xkal174 / 11/15/2010 at 6:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
by lilmamma / 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Sean / 10/27/2010 at 6:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 4:21am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML
by K_M / 08/23/2010 at 12:18am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Kids
by k.love / 06/22/2010 at 8:59am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
by Keaton / 06/15/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…