Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

harrypotter955

Search for a member

harrypotter955
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1993
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

harrypotter955's last visitors

zeriously95dillonfigabbi630snakezthisguy184QuewonMaybeMoorosenkrieger223

harrypotter955's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65524) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (3808) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14962) - you deserved it (44133)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

#14497431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30215) - you deserved it (6294)

On 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm - misc - by BiteMe14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35237) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (9644)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML

#14019347
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (6074)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by brandiboobarry -

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40279) - you deserved it (9197)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70723) - you deserved it (3924)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

#13726348
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12601) - you deserved it (41215)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm - kids - by lilmamma - United States (California)

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

#13612177
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (6877)

On 10/27/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by Sean - United States (Florida)

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

#13534312
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (31703)

On 10/21/2010 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (6108)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: