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harrypotter955

Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 4:02am) | Search for a member

harrypotter955

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5923
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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harrypotter955's page activity

Visits<b>dannie_jones</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:24pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:22am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:52pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:19am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:36am<b>Camlin93</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:56am<b>badbitch23</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:58am<b>alyssa81296</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:40am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:23pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:17am<b>abby1212</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:52am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:40pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:57am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:31pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:40pm<b>my_account_</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:14pm<b>Schoolsystem</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:47pm<b>shwn_pal</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:35am

Fucked!<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:17am<b>thederpylemon</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:44am<b>g_willikers24</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:46am<b>Just_A_Fantasy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:12pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:37am

harrypotter955's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of harrypotter955's badges

harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

#17167728
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (12113)

On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140912) - you deserved it (7997)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
711 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (95613)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

#16467969
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (9623)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22042) - you deserved it (43587)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38939) - you deserved it (10503)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33946) - you deserved it (3085)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (5865)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (6816)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (4832)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50228) - you deserved it (8182)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (10613)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68566) - you deserved it (6292)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51017) - you deserved it (4162) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (3166)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)



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