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harrypotter955

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harrypotter955
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2012
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9242) - you deserved it (69953)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (2070)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

#17167728
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (10995)

On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117079) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (86884)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

#16467969
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (9246)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19650) - you deserved it (40014)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (2846)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36609) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (5076)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (4550)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32981) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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