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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (7732)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (8575)
On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105334) - you deserved it (5807)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14779) - you deserved it (69225)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (7617)
On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17592) - you deserved it (31059)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (2251)
On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (718)
On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (5026)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (4371)
On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (6420)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32246) - you deserved it (8715)
On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58725) - you deserved it (4910)
On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2286)
On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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