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harrypotter955

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harrypotter955
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 October 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1035
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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harrypotter955's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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harrypotter955's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
111 comments

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (2390)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your f*cking car and get the f*ck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10305) - you deserved it (23226)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (7641)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (3157)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20982) - you deserved it (2470)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex-wife crashed my engagement party. FML

#17566039
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (2617)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

#17539205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by lol - United States

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (3233)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9410) - you deserved it (36928)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (4292)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (53738)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (2047)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (7731)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States



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