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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (1805)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (3436)
Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23514) - you deserved it (3790)
On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother in law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27175) - you deserved it (2515)
On 01/30/2012 at 12:24am - kids - by myself - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15145) - you deserved it (3069)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (3750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (2817)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (4174)
On 12/24/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by arrowtopatella (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (2171)
On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)
Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (2212)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (30022)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (30022)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11310) - you deserved it (31759)
On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (1683)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (1683)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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