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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1469
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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happymelon's page activity

Visits<b>Zonja</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 3:38pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:37am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:59pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 6:38am<b>Lucario227</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:37am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:31pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:13pm<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:41am<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:37pm<b>mrnipples7311</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:12pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:25pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 4:37pm<b>sharrufa3</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 10:53am<b>JulianaBlackburn</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 6:43pm<b>peacelovecoffee</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:41am<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:07am

Fucked!<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 11:59pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 12:38pm

happymelon's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

happymelon's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

by danii / 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML

by True Story / 08/29/2011 at 8:46am / Canada / Love

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

by Junktown / 07/07/2011 at 10:40am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

by Username / 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

by theyarefarapart / 05/09/2011 at 3:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous