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happymelon

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happymelon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 824
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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happymelon's page activity

Visits<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:37pm<b>mrnipples7311</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:12pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:25pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 4:37pm<b>sharrufa3</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 10:53am<b>JulianaBlackburn</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 6:43pm<b>peacelovecoffee</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:41am<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:07am<b>armyycadet7</b> - the 07/08/2011 at 9:45pm<b>kingtz</b> - the 06/15/2011 at 2:07pm

happymelon's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

happymelon's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you deserved it (56019)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (8471)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML

#17611164
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (9134)

On 08/29/2011 at 8:46am - love - by True Story - Canada

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27942) - you deserved it (5049)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30197) - you deserved it (8729)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (4229)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34227) - you deserved it (3407)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

#17012885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (5420)

On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

#16579288
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14298) - you deserved it (55158)

On 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (2977)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35994) - you deserved it (7163)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (4558)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14698) - you deserved it (45365)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101007) - you deserved it (5920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27920) - you deserved it (3895)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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