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Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (4571)
On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12224) - you deserved it (32632)
Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (4383)
On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (4083)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16649) - you deserved it (15096)
On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (3979)
On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (7969)
On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (9870)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)
Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13909) - you deserved it (33212)
On 06/17/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Longhorn2011 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165465) - you deserved it (14439)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11211) - you deserved it (38506)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9699) - you deserved it (55098)
On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43825) - you deserved it (8375)
On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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