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hama806's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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hama806's favorite FMLs
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Aberrombie Blue / 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/14/2013 at 10:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML
by nice education you've got there / 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by ziggers10 / 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm / United States / Love
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
by effiestonem154 / 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by aabadaba / 04/01/2013 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML
by HappyBirthdayISuppose / 04/01/2013 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML
by TVKill3r / 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm / United States / Work
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 2:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML
by nohablaespanol / 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by inconnue / 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love