Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hama806

Search for a member

hama806
  • Town/Country : Manhattan, NY, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1428
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hama806's last visitors

Narttumeb123hazelniatrossgabylikescheesetyMatereneetlovesyouwarriorkitty_TheGalwaySpiritXxOtakuDemonxXBloinkBehind_walls

hama806's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of hama806's badges

hama806's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (3726)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (1912)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (2489)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (2405)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I switched cell phone service providers, hoping to upgrade. After working out the details and picking a phone in the store, I got home to find my brand new cell can't get a signal in my house. I already signed the two year contract. FML

#19596569
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17872) - you deserved it (5043)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by klynn267 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10327) - you deserved it (29907)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

#19567272
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (2050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/03/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Laura (woman) - France

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14194) - you deserved it (2681)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (2100)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15869) - you deserved it (58099)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: