hama806

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Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 7:06pm)

hama806

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6553
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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hama806's page activity

Visits<b>Arestian</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 12:01pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:59am<b>Popeye2341</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 5:02am<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 9:54am<b>cubankanye</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:07pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:21pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:10am<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:11am<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:47pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:25pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:22pm<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:54pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:52am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:04pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:18pm<b>gay_flavored_cx</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Kvothee</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:17am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:40pm

hama806's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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hama806's favorite FMLs

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Health

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

by brooke / 08/13/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

by bellsucker / 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Midlothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

by Joey / 07/24/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I had the contraceptive implant removed from my arm after having had it in for three years. I was one of the unlucky people whose body sticks to it. It took half an hour to cut and pull a tiny little stick out of my arm. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Darlington) / Health

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

by Aaron Lewis / 07/07/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2012 at 6:42am / United States / Miscellaneous