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  • Number of visits : 6184
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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hama806's page activity

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Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:40pm

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hama806's favorite FMLs

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

by N/A / 09/25/2012 at 12:13am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

by Hairless freak / 09/23/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

by ClaireBear150 / 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

by Judy / 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

by Jessica S. / 09/06/2012 at 7:15am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

by iliveintexas / 09/01/2012 at 10:09am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML

by yonanon / 08/31/2012 at 8:02am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

by fet / 08/23/2012 at 10:30am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy