hama806

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Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 7:06pm)

hama806

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5074
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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hama806's page activity

Visits<b>cubankanye</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:07pm<b>xxthechosenguyxx</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:21pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:10am<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:11am<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:47pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:25pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:22pm<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:54pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:52am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:04pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:18pm<b>gay_flavored_cx</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Kvothee</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:17am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:31am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 5:39pm<b>constipation</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:05am<b>spencer353</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:49am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:40pm

hama806's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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hama806's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Transportation

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

by Sam l. / 11/10/2012 at 1:51am / United States / Animals

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm / Argentina (Buenos Aires) / Kids

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

by Screwed / 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

by 99Problemsandfml / 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

by rastamerican / 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

by Misunderstood Waitress / 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

by liquorless / 11/05/2012 at 9:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

by John / 11/02/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

by lifelike / 10/29/2012 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

by prettylady? / 10/28/2012 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

by wtactualfuck :( / 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm / United States / Love

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 9:09am / United States / Health

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 6:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous