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halzmac

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halzmac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 321
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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halzmac's page activity

Visits<b>needsomefunny</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:54pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 4:22pm<b>charvisioku</b> - the 12/06/2012 at 9:55am<b>SneakyCaveman</b> - the 11/07/2012 at 9:28pm<b>m1zark</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 8:04pm<b>bossmanboss15</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 6:02pm<b>Timmeeh</b> - the 10/10/2012 at 6:04pm

halzmac's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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halzmac's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (4615)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9574) - you deserved it (27168)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (8801)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (2417)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40992) - you deserved it (3620)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (20821)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (3230)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (1493)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (1816)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26372) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (10914)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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