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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 April 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1355
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About haloofduty27 : Sup yo.

haloofduty27's page activity

Visits<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:11pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/05/2012 at 4:10am

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haloofduty27's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

by themcdave / 05/19/2012 at 4:03am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Work

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

by jack / 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

by yuuupyup / 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

by ProsserBabe11 / 04/14/2012 at 10:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

by fuckbucket14 / 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm / Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 2:27am / United States / Love