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halley_raven's favorite FMLs
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by twinArmageddon2 / 04/15/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lonely / 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm / United States / Love
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
by bntje / 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML
by could be an fml commenter / 04/13/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by saxophone911 / 04/13/2013 at 11:52am / United States / Love
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by SoreNips / 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by Juliet / 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
by no tea parties here, gran / 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
by nosey / 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy