About Halley_raven Not specified
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    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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    42%
  • The return of the thumb

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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

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    33%
  • One more and it's business time

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Halley_raven's favorite FMLs

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

By How strange / Saturday 20 April 2013 12:02 / United States

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 20 April 2013 02:55 / United States - Hebron

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

By Grand_Cookie / Tuesday 16 April 2013 08:48 / United States - Norfolk

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 17 April 2013 23:01 / United States - Bristol

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 17 April 2013 05:51 /