halley_raven

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halley_raven

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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halley_raven's page activity

Visits<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 2:08pm<b>cat_marie</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:42am

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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It’s in the can

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halley_raven's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

by Beth / 04/28/2013 at 9:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

by revan546 / 04/26/2013 at 9:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

by sad guy / 04/26/2013 at 1:20am / United States / Love

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

by really_now / 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 11:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

by goingtobeevicted / 04/25/2013 at 2:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

by Live Sweet / 04/25/2013 at 1:33am / Intimacy

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

by traitor / 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 12:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 11:49am / Australia / Miscellaneous