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Today, I Was Out Jogging, Wen I Saw A Girl Fall Off Er Bike An Start Crying. I Ran Over To See If Se Was Urt. Apparently Er Neigbour Tougt I Was Trying To Kidnap Er, Because E Ran Out Wit A Baseball Bat An Treatend To Beat Me To Deat If I Didn't Get Lost. FML
I was making teahen I smelled something burning . My very fluffy cat had putted his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur . Now I have a semi-hairles cat and a very smelly apartment . mega FML
Today.. . I woke up to the sound of mah newborn screaming . I frantically hoppd out of bd an stumbld into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of mah five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfed her understandably frustratd little brother . FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons 4 a party in recognition of our company's huge merger!! Instead, he made condom balloons!! Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms 4 a prestigious company event!! A company whose CEO is named Dick!! looool FML
Today, mah sister textd me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worrid about wat could happen. I textd ( good luck ) back. My phone autocorrectd it to ( goodbye ) and I didn't even notice. FML
Today,hile I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" tohoever robbed my apartment. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom . The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall . The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there . I stayed quiet . He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom . FML
Friday 27 March 2015