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halley_raven's favorite FMLs
by joeidk / 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
by o___O" / 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML
by legit247 / 05/10/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by ZydecosGirl / 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
by brokedad / 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
by iLikeMyLegs / 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML
by Checkless chick / 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Carrie / 05/08/2013 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Health
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…